It's time!

I have thought about this day for a little while now. the last day I share my body with my lil roomie for the last 9 months. it is bittersweet to me. I am READY to meet her.. hahaha..anyone that has crossed my path or seen me walk across a parking lot or get up out of a chair knows that i look READY :) I am READY to get this belly out of my way.

but oh this belly. I have spent hours rubbing it. looking at the miracle within it move from side to side. watched my kids kiss it and talk to it and grow to love it and the mystery that is inside of it. i love all that this belly stands for, the stretch marks and all the mush, but that hard big 50 lb ball of a belly i have also grown to love the whole of it.... :)
i am ready to walk normal, sleep on my belly again, wear pants with buttons and shirts that are aren't the shape of a long square (but thanks for the great times piko). and most importantly i am ready to meet this little lady that we have been dreaming about meeting and loving.
i always said i wanted 4 kids. i love a house full of people and chaos. it is comfy to me. after this pregnancy and thinking it may have been a lil harder  at 33 then my other two in my 20's and realizing 3 kids will be plenty of lovin to go around with the chaos that is already under our roof :) it is bittersweet to think this is the last time i will be pregnant. i have dreamt of having babies and being a mama ever since i was a little. i knew it was always what i wanted to be. i can remember playing with my friends and stuffing pillows in our shirts to pretend to be pregnant. when i got older and the dream was closer i knew i wanted to be a mama just like my own mama. i carefully logged my own memories of what my mother did to make our life special and tucked  those into my mothering soul. i have always felt confident and natural at this job. not meaning that "confident" meant i always had the right answer or knew what to do in every situation but i have always been confident i was trying my hardest and was so incredibly grateful for this opportunity...i knew i had the best possible resources of encouragement and love to move forward through my mothering journey.

the good news? looks like I've got this mothering gig for the rest of my life! :) so no reason to get sappy about that but the belly....the pregnancy...the hope, the prayers, the creation of more love, the miracle of it all...i want to soak it all in for the last time.

as i unpacked newborn diapers into the drawers i opened the package and was immediately taken back with the smell of new diapers. i hadn't been around diapers in a couple years and it caught me off guard. i soaked in that fresh baby smell and couldn't' wait to meet the lil buns that would go in there.

so as i say goodbye to this chapter in my life. this big belly chapter, i kiss it goodbye like i do all written life chapters... with love, gratitude, respect and excitement... to turn the page and create the next chapter.

be sweet to us ms. edie jane!!!!! :) we can't wait to love you to pieces.

and here we go...............